It's just like here

Just don't go to Japan...because apparently this is what will happen.
I really don't think there is anything I can say about this.
Click here to see the thing.

D for Democracy

We needn't blow things up and make with the stabby-shooty to get our way.
We can just move to a country that thinks more like we do..and learn their language.
Maybe.
Get it while it's hot kids!

Incomepoop

This is just to notify the federal government that I will be expecting all that money I gave you back this year. I don't mean to be a dick about it, but I think we need to settle up. If you need to take the interstate highway out of my back yard I will understand. I won't need it anymore since I can no longer afford a car or insurance. Also...any foreign invaders? Yeah, I'll take the hit if they come knocking.
The Japanese attacked our fleet once but they look too busy figuring out how to medicate themselves properly to bother with that again anytime soon. Speaking of which, I also want healthcare.
Thanks for being there for me,
Ken

Stink

Just because you can't smell doesn't mean you don't smell.

For every action

As cows all over the world disappear...
http://www.cowabduction.com/
...I find myself the unwilling recipient of innumerable cows from alien spacecraft.

My small yard, less than 0.25 acres, is unable to support even one cow during a harsh winter and the ones that have been turned inside-out, although vibrantly colored and miraculously alive, cannot feed themselves nor provide me with the milk I need to maintain a healthy, active lifestyle.

I will be contacting the "grays" and reminding them who is in charge.