I have secured a position with the state at a community college as a Media Information Technology Innovation Associate of Something. My duties will encompass changing the urinal cakes and keeping greasy fingerprints off the glass doors in the Student Center.
My current superior, Paisley the ferret, is upset that I will be leaving my post here at home but I have given her 3 pieces of peanut butter cereal and I think she feels better now. I feel that she has been holding me back from achieving my full potential. I am over 200 times heavier and at least 1.5 times smarter than her and have always been uncomfortable calling her "boss" despite her formidable claws and teeth.
My colleagues, Sam and Marvin the cats, are holding a week-long going away bash for me. By "going away bash" they apparently mean sleeping in front of the windows and basking in the sun until drool pools around their heads. "When in Rome"...am I right?
Seriously, I wasn't cut out for crushing poverty and living with animals. I send my profound thanks to the nice folks at the college and look forward to sharing the skills I've developed as a freelancer...sleeping until 3:00PM and making a big mess.
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