Friday, July 13, 2007

This isn't a popularity contest

Today I'm announcing my intention to remove humans from areas where I feel they endanger wildlife and the biodiversity we require to maintain a habitable and enjoyable planet.
-Tropical South America
-Madagascar
-Central Africa
These humans will be forcibly relocated, at their own expense, to the unpopulated and significantly less biodiverse central regions of North America and Asia.

Furthermore I am launching a preemptive campaign of global genetically-engineered viral sterilization of males and females, rendering more than 99% of the world's populous incapable of reproduction.
A complex, broad range of genetic markers have been favorably selected in such a fashion as to insure the genetic diversity of those remaining breeders.

I'd like to thank my friends the cheetahs, manta rays, and corals for their contribution to this plan.

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