The Vatican's College of Cardinals has announced the appointment of a new Pope without the traditional and lengthy process of deliberation. Also in breaking with tradition, the new pope will be an egg-laying female named "Hive Alpha the First" and be among the few pontiffs to have a set of retractable inner jaws.
"This comes as a surprise to those in the developing world who had hoped for a Latin-American or African to be among the candidates for the position." said veteran Vatican correspondent Sylvia Poggioli of NPR news. "Xenomorphs make up such a small fraction of the Catholic faithful around the world."
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