As if you didn't know

I was, of course, referring to the Isaiah I. Jefferson Memorial Maritime Alligator Table.
Why, what did you think?

I vote for "Die Trying"

I know, that's just mean.
Sorry.

Lunesta: The horses can't save you.

"There's a horse downstairs...
and it's acting like Jesus."

That is what one person had as a hallucination induced by my current sleep aid.
For me it just makes everything taste bitter.
Plus I don't have a downstairs.
Ranch baby!
Any horses acting like Jesus will just have to wait in the living room.

Time to try some warm milk, or maybe someone can hit me with a golf club or something.
This shit is too crazy for me.

What's a guhgortion?

Let's see...
38 x 4 + 3 = 155

Yes, I'm in my 155th trimester.
This is how I look on ultrasound.

Looks like mom shoulda lightened up on the mixed drinks.

My super powers

1. Hot Feet
The ability to make my feet warm by simply concentrating on it. They actually get hot to the touch if I visualize pulling boots off my frozen feet, like when I was a kid and came in from playing in the snow.

2. Super-Corrected Vision
Using contact lenses my vision is corrected to better than 20/20, often registering 20/5. This means I can see at 20 feet what people with "perfect" vision can see at 5 feet.

I sometimes wonder if that might be due to my optometrist's somewhat lackluster homemade eyechart.