Filled with hate?

I'm over 40 so I'm filled with hate?
Is that how that works?
Maybe that's right.
I missed the whole filled with hate phase as a teen.
I'll try to be good.
Over at my local college we're having an outdoor graduation this Sunday on campus for the first time. That's nice right? The state built a brandy new college campus for folks who can't afford to pay for a big name education. The governor who signed off on it was even a Republican, and so was her corrupt boss until he was sent to prison. He got what he deserved and the people got what they deserve. That's nice!

$8 gas is just the ticket

I have been secretly thrilling to the fumes of $4 gasoline.
Wow, I hope this keeps up, things might change.
Look at the passenger-less, multi-ton SUVs - good thing that soccer mom carries around 3 tons of metal and plastic to keep her company on her stop-and-go trips around town.
Look at the giant, unused, virgin-bedded pickup trucks - never done a days work in their lives. The tires are glossy and the body hasn't a scratch on it. You need a 'hemi' to idle in the KFC drive-thru for half an hour, keeps the A/C and mad bass beats kickin' nicely.

I wrote a little song. Like to hear it? Here's how it goes.
"Hey troops, here, let us consumers piss in your face. Take our piss you bitches."

I do rejoice at the prospect of $8 gas.
So does this guy.

Please explain, site specific examples

Silicon
Silica
Silicate
Silicone

I am not understand.

Back to Mars

I'd like to point out that my name is on Mars.
I'm not bragging, it's just that when your name is recorded on a

"unique DVD made of silica glass, and designed to last hundreds if not thousands of years into the future, when its true mission will commence. It carries nothing less than a message from our world to one centuries away, when humans will roam the Red Planet."

you have a lot of people asking you if you're "that awesome guy from the Mars thing".

Yes, I am.

Here, see for yourself, I'm listed under Kenneth Colangelo, certificate 1196899.

As a postscript try these names in the search:
"Jeff Goldblum" returned zero results
"Robert Plant" returned zero results
"Stephen Hawking" returned zero results

Fuck those guys.

Shitty Memorial Day

The deaths of those in Iraq have not served to make us more safe nor more free.
They were misled or willfully ignorant and led to their ineffectual deaths.
This weekend don't drive drunk...and never vote stupid.
Actually, if you're really stupid, make sure you drive drunk.
Just make sure it's in a remote area.
Have one for the road fuckheads!

Flattering diplomacy or clumsy manipulation?

You make the call.

I put a sign on our filthy oven that read
"This oven needs the love of a beautiful woman."

I thought I might end up on the working end of a rolling pin or frying pan upon returning home but much to my surprise I see that this is in fact a charming way to suggest your lovely wife help clean the oven. What a woman!

I think I might buy a helmet anyway.

Words to use more often

Hark
Dimwit
Yon
Half-wit

As in:
"Hark yon dimwit! Hark! Or are you really only a half-wit?"

Clearly not working out

This human race thing is clearly not working out.
You don't display any initiative.
You're so filled with terror and self-loathing you can't put one foot in front of the other.
Make a plan, set some goals.
Let's face it, you're getting bloated too. You're all over the damn place. You're too big for your own britches.
And look at this place, what a mess.
Jesus would it kill you to pick up once in a while!
Get rid of some of this shit, it's fucking everywhere.
Do something constructive for once you asshole!

Did I say this was about the human race?
I'm sure I did.

Sproing!

Spring is here by golly, what a simply gorgeous day!
Once again the Crunch Berry trees are in bloom and a mans fancy turns to thoughts of...
Whoa! This can't be the right image for Spring.