Alarming Trends

Although I have lost 38 pounds, recent analysis indicates that my keys will weigh more than me by the year 2100. At that time, flood water from global warming will cover most of the continental land masses - clearly a bad time to be weighed down with hundreds of pounds of metal keys.

I currently have more than a dozen keys, a small fraction of my overall weight.

Consider carbon

What a present!

"Here's some carbon baby!"
"It's indistinguishable from crystal but is 10 times more expensive!"

Now I've got this to compete with.



304 carats. Great.

"Look, I don't care if the North Koreans DO have a nuke, I am not getting you anything fissionable for our engagement."

Based on real life events

As I strive to make the largest burrito since the Apollo program I am reminded of the plight of our brave astronauts. In honor of their svelt Protestant bods I am endeavouring to make this burrito as low in carbohydrates as possible and then return it safely to the Earth.
God bless America and the horse it rode in on.
Good night.

Also the Romans

The Romans were nuts!
N-V-T-S nuts!
*Credit to Mel Brooks on that one

Life'f better

Iambf food for catf

Sweetness up in here

Core 2 Duo 2.4GHz Intel processor, overclocked to 3.2GHz
That's like an effective 6.4GHz for threaded applications.
2 gigs of PC6400 RAM
PCI-X expansion slot yet to be used.
This is a killer PC system and it hides in a classic Mac G4 case and it cost less than $700.