I want to thank George Bush, John McCain and president-elect Barack Obama for their gracious phone calls this evening.
Yes, I am better at Scrabble than all of you but that doesn't make you lesser Americans. I'm sure you will all grow up to be fine men in spite of this intellectual shortcoming and I offer you wishes for a happy set of upcoming traditional, religious and chronological holidays.
Particularly you George and John; you need to settle in with the family, memorize your "twos", and work on rack management or you really aren't going to be taken seriously again.
Thank you, and may God continue to bless those who believe in that sort of thing.
Any of you guys have any weight-loss advice?
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